Essential Sugar Dating Communication Skills

Improving your sugar dating communication skills could be just the thing to catapult your success in the Bowl!

Learn how to foster respectful, meaningful, and long-lasting sugar relationships with the right communication habits. And, think about tailoring your communication to different platforms. We’ve got the tips and tricks in this article!

Understanding Communication Channels in Sugar Dating

Okay, so you know that communication is important in sugar dating. But let’s break down the different kinds of communication and why it’s so important to consider them during your negotiation process:

• Instant messaging on the sugaring app. This will be the first point of contact with a potential partner, so you’ll want to put a good amount of effort into keeping up with your DMs, being intentional about the conversation, and deciding when or if to move to another mode of communication.
• Texting and media sharing. Texting, especially with the use of a protected messaging app, is a very popular method of keeping in contact with your sugar partner. This may also include the use of photos, audio messages, or video sharing.
• Phone calls. A voice-only phone call continues to be a popular way of talking to a sugar partner, whether the point is to set up a next meeting or have a longer conversation.
• Video calls. As we’ll discuss later on, video calls can offer a range of advantages in a sugar relationship. On the one hand, they can be used to verify a person’s identity to avoid a catfishing or bot situation. And, they can be used for virtual dates.
• In-person meetings. Meeting a sugar partner in person will require a whole different set of communication skills! How will you navigate lulls in the conversation? What topics are off-limits? How can you build in-person chemistry and comfortability with a sugar partner?

You should consider what kinds of communication avenues are most comfortable and accessible to you so that you can discuss them in your early negotiation process. Some questions to help establish what style of contact is right for you could be:

• What is my availability? Taking a realistic look at your availability is an important way to set reasonable and achievable expectations for your sugar partner. Even if your schedule is variable, you should be able to let them know which hours you’re most likely to be available for check-ins, conversations about scheduling, and virtual or in-person dates.
• What is my WIFI set-up? If you travel often for work or don’t have access to reliable WIFI, you’ll need to consider that in your relationship planning.
• How emotionally taxing are different styles of communication for me? The whole point of negotiating the terms of your relationship is finding the right balance between your needs and your ability to keep your partner happy. If, for instance, you dislike talking on the phone, you’ll want to avoid including phone calls in your agreement, as they will drain you and prevent you from showing up enthusiastically.

Laying the Foundation: In-app Messaging

The first communication that you have with a sugar partner is key in laying a healthy, respectful foundation. During this point in getting to know each other, your communication styles will reveal how serious you are about sugar dating, whether you have chemistry, and even how you go about solving basic challenges (such as finding room in each of your schedules for your first meet & greet.)

On the flip side, communication that is lackluster or generic could give the other person the impression that you’re a bot or not enthusiastic about moving forward.

So, as you can see, these early messages are important! Here are a few tips on how to maximize your first DMs:

• Make the first move. You might be accustomed to potential partners approaching you, but in sugaring, these rules go out the window! You shouldn’t shy away from sending a first message to someone who interests you—otherwise, someone else may swoop in before you get the chance.
• Ask follow-up questions. This is your opportunity to build rapport and learn more about the other person. So, ask interesting questions and follow-ups.
• Allow your genuine personality to shine through. Your great profile already did the hard work of making a potential partner interested in you, and now it’s your turn to allow them to get to know you further.
• Keep the conversation moving at a good pace. Even though you want to establish trust and interest at this point in getting to know a partner, be careful not to stay in this early talking phase too long. As soon as you feel comfortable, start steering the conversation towards the kind of sugar relationship you’re looking for and when you can set up your first meet & greet or video call.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Texting

Many sugar relationships include texting as a way of maintaining communication. But there are a few advantages, disadvantages, and best practices to keep in mind. For instance, advantages include:

• The ability to respond when you have a free moment during your day
• The time to think about your responses
• The ability to send other media such as emojis, photos, videos, gifs, or memes

· You’ll also want to be aware of some potential disadvantages such as:

• The assumption of your partner that you should respond within a certain timeframe
• Miscommunication that can be more common without in-person verbal communication or tone
• A feeling of distance or difficulty connecting

Effective Texting Strategies

Given these pros and cons, how can you make texting a more valuable part of your sugar relationship?

• Talk to your sugar partner about when you’ll be available to respond to texts. This will dispel some insecurities about why you’re taking a long time to respond or responding sporadically.
• Understand that your texting styles may be different. This is especially true if there’s a cultural or age difference, as these can affect texting styles. For instance, a thumbs-up emoji can be considered neutral or positive for one person and be taken as passive-aggressive or sarcastic to someone else.
• Ask for clarification. Avoid assumptions that can lead to misunderstandings and resentment by asking for clarification. For instance, if your partner responds with “ok” and you’re worried that they’re upset, consider asking them, “Are you sure you’re okay? To me ‘ok’ instead of ‘okay’ or ‘sounds good’ means that you may be upset.”
• Consider including audio messages as part of your texting conversations. One way to make your texting conversations feel more human and connected is by incorporating audio messages. Even if you don’t use them all the time, they will help to set the tone and bring you closer together.

Benefits and Drawbacks of Phone Calls and Video Calls

Phone calls and video calls can often lead to deeper emotional connections than texting, which is why many sugar relationships schedule them at least once per week. Some of the benefits of developing your sugar dating communication skills over the phone include:

• The chance to talk without interruptions. Typically, the two of you will be more focused on the conversation if you’ve set aside the time to have a phone call or video call.
• Audio feedback. There’s so much emotion conveyed in our voices that can get lost in text messages. So, this is a great way to clear up doubts or miscommunications.
• Efficiency. Some people find that a quick phone call or video call is more efficient for things like date planning or talking about the terms of the agreement.

Potential drawbacks may include:

• Signal problems. Issues with your signal or WIFI connection can be frustrating and lead to miscommunication and awkwardness.
• Pressure to be 100% focused. Phone calls and video calls often require your full attention in order to keep the conversation flowing smoothly. This will mean that you may have to set aside time for a call or think about potential distractions such as your dog barking or family members sharing your space.

Maximizing Call Effectiveness

If you are interested in incorporating calls into your sugar relationship, make sure to iron out the following details:

• Scheduling. Some sugar partners will call each other at random and whenever they have a chance while others will rely on a more predictable schedule of when calls will take place. No matter which you choose, make sure that the terms of your arrangement reflect that dynamic.
• Being mindful of the length of calls. Even if the two of you have a great rapport and get along well, it’s still a good idea to put time limits on calls. This will ensure that neither of you gets communication fatigue (more on that later) and keep the relationship fresh and interesting.
• Investing in certain equipment that can make calls more enjoyable. Whether it’s a better WIFI plan or a microphone that cuts out background noise, there are many tech upgrades that can make phone and video calls more satisfying.

Face-to-Face Meetings: Pros and Cons

There are many things to consider when you’re choosing between an in-person and virtual sugar relationship, especially when it comes to your communication skills. Some potential benefits include:

· Deeper emotional connection. Being able to read someone’s body language and tone in addition to listening to their words is a way to accelerate emotional bonding.

· More authentic personality. You may be surprised to find out that your sugar partner is a more social, connected person in real life than behind a screen. This is quite common and can be a good reason to schedule more in-person dates than virtual ones.

· Less pressure to fill every moment with conversation. Some people have the impression that face-to-face meetings are intimidating, but actually, you might find that silences or lulls in the conversation may feel more comfortable in person! After all, on a video call or phone call, there is an expectation that you’ll be talking the entire call whereas in person, you may watch the sunset together, enjoy a movie, or otherwise feel at ease without saying anything.

That being said, there are certainly some cons to consider, such as:

• Awkwardness. Even though there is the potential to form a deeper emotional bond in person, you might find that you simply have no chemistry with a sugar partner in real life.
• Not being able to carefully choose your wording. With practice, you can certainly become more measured with your speech. But often, in-person conversations require you to think more on your feet and respond more quickly than you would be able to over text.

Strategies for Successful Meetings

Overall, face-to-face meetings are more common and highly valued in the world of sugaring than virtual relationships. So, if you want to make the most of your in-person dates, keep the following communication strategies in mind:

• Choose a meeting place that is good for conversation. It can be frustrating to try to get to know someone in an overly loud or crowded bar or club. On the flip side, a place that is too quiet can make you feel like you need to fill every moment of silence. So, try to find a happy medium.
• Set the tone from the start. It doesn’t matter if you’re the sugar daddy or the sugar baby, either one of you can set the tone for how the conversation will go. You can accomplish this with a genuine smile, a question about the commute, or a positive comment about the location.
• Allow time to get comfortable. You might find that one or both of you is feeling some jitters when you first arrive, which can make the conversation feel forced or stilted. But, give it time! You’ll be able to relax and fall into a rhythm with a little bit of time.
• Use active listening. There are a variety of active listening tactics that will allow your partner to feel heard while keeping the conversation flowing smoothly. These include eye contact, nodding, repeating back certain phrases (for instance, “I can’t believe that you went skiing in Japan!”), and asking follow-up questions.
• Learn how to deal with personal differences. Every once in a while, you may meet a sugar partner with all the same opinions as you. But in other cases, you’ll need to focus on connecting with someone who doesn’t share your worldview. You can keep the communication between the two of you respectful by trying to see things from their perspective, asking genuine good-faith questions, and politely changing the subject if things start to feel uncomfortable.
• Have a few icebreakers in your back pocket. If the conversation needs a quick spark of energy, an icebreaker can be a great tactic. These include thought-provoking questions, such as: What is one skill that you wish you could have with no training? If you could live anywhere in the world for one year, where would you go?

Choosing the Right Communication Method

In this article, we’ve talked about the pros and cons of each communication style, and how you can maximize your calls, text convos, and in-person dates. Now, it’s up to you to put together a communication plan that works for both of you! Remember that you’ll want to include your correspondence in your negotiation phase and be able to revisit your communication throughout the relationship.

Balancing Text, Call, and In-Person Interactions

Most sugar relationships utilize a variety of communication methods in order to check in, schedule dates, and of course, move the relationship along. In order to build this into the terms of your arrangement, consider breaking it down into specific expectations:

• Available for daily check-ins via text
• Weekly or bi-weekly scheduled phone calls (between ____ and ____ minutes)
• Weekly or bi-weekly scheduled video calls (between ____ and ____ minutes)
• Availability for unscheduled calls between the hours of ___ and ___
• ____ number of schedule in-person dates

To be sure, some sugar relationships don’t put communication in such specific or strict terms. But for others, having a structure makes it easier to ask for proper compensation for the time and emotional effort that goes into maintaining communication. Having set hours and limits on communication can also help some people balance sugaring with their personal lives.

Addressing Communication Issues

All relationships, from work to family to personal, can suffer from communication breakdowns and incompatibilities. You can lower your risk for communication-based conflicts by keeping the following in mind:

• Become aware of your communication style. You might be someone who prefers texting to phone calls or feels uncomfortable with silence while your partner is a person of few words. Becoming aware of your own preferences can help you have more honest conversations with your partner.
• Find a middle ground between opposing communication styles. The good news is, that if your partner is comfortable with a different kind of communicator than you, you’re not doomed to fail. Instead, you’ll want to find a middle ground that works for both of you. For instance, you might say something like, “I much prefer a video call than a phone call because it helps me feel more connected to you when I can see your face. Would you be open to switching off between phone calls and video calls?”
• Don’t sweep conflicts under the rug. It’s quite common for communication issues to occur in relationships, even when you’re generally compatible. Someone is bound to say something that is interpreted the wrong way or you may forget to call on an important anniversary. Instead of letting these issues fester and develop into resentment, take the time to talk through them in a healthy, respectful way.
• If the problems with communication revolve around disrespect, address them quickly. Some communication issues go beyond simple miscommunications or misunderstandings. And if you feel that your partner is insulting you, criticizing you, or otherwise making you feel bad about yourself, don’t accept it. Let your partner know that you’re looking for a sugar daddy or baby who is respectful and that you will not continue in a relationship in which you don’t feel well-treated.

Dealing with Communication Fatigue

Dealing with communication fatigue is one of the most important sugar dating communication skills! Communication fatigue is a real barrier to building or maintaining a sugar relationship. And it can happen to both sugar daddies and sugar babies.

You may, for instance, find it hard to be talkative and engaged on a video call with your sugar partner after you spent all day on video conference calls for work. Or, if you have a customer-facing service job, you might find that you have less patience for small talk with new potential sugar partners. Unfortunately, this can prevent you from making new connections or giving your sugar partner the attention they deserve. So, how can you counter communication fatigue?

Talk to Your Partner About Your Communication Fatigue

Being honest with your sugar partner about feeling overwhelmed or exhausted can ensure that they’re not blaming themselves or wondering if you’re unhappy with the arrangement. Try saying something like, “I really appreciate our time together and I love our conversations. Right now, my work/family/health demands are leaving me more tired than usual and I’m not feeling as chatty. But I’m looking for solutions so that I can give you the attention you deserve.”

Schedule Calls or Dates Strategically

Overloading your schedule or planning dates immediately after you get off of work can mean that you show up feeling run-down and tired. Instead, consider scheduling your dates for earlier in the day, on weekends, or with enough time after work to be able to decompress.

Respond to Messages During a Dedicated Time Period

One of the huge challenges of our modern age is the fact that we’re available 24/7. This means that we may be responding to the family group chat, a message from our boss, a voicemail from a sugar partner, and on and on, all day long. This is a sure way to feel fatigued and overwhelmed, which can lead to us putting off responding to messages or responding with short answers.

A solution would be to have virtual “office hours” in which you only check and respond to messages at a set time of day. To be sure, this isn’t possible in every scenario. But, if you can avoid checking work emails after work, mute your many group chats so that you can check in on your terms, and let your sugar partner know when you’ll be available to talk, you can avoid the burnout.

Conclusion

Because communication is such an integral part of sugar dating, we wanted to make sure to cover the topic in detail! And now that we’ve talked about everything from the different types of communication styles to how to incorporate them into your arrangement to avoiding communication burnout, you’re ready to become a communication expert!

So, how are you feeling about your sugar dating communication skills?