She Didn't Respond - So Now What?

"Who does this girl think she is?"

That can be the question that creeps into our heads whenever we've taken a lot of our valuable time to select a potential sugar baby on Secret Benefits, buy some credits with our hard-earned money, and compose a concise, appealing, and welcoming introductory message to her.  We're busy guys, even busier than most - running companies, making deals - and we still found the time to make contact.  So why can't this college student/waitress over here reply in a timely manner?

It's easy to get frustrated by this part of the process.  When we have no information to go on (often, the message doesn't even display as "Read" even days afterward), we are left to speculate as to the reason for the delayed reply.  

We jump to conclusions, we second-guess ourselves, and as time continues to tick away, we fume.  This is a good time to take a step back and consider things from her perspective, though.

Remember that, like most people, a sugar baby has bills to pay and day-to-day concerns to attend to.  She's likely got a job (or two) that commands most of her attention.  Throw a child and some hobbies into the mix and she may be even busier. 

I know, I know... "She doesn't know what 'busy' means - not compared to my kind of busy."

This is true, but also a matter of perspective.  She doesn't know you yet - When she does, you probably will be more of a priority.  Right now, however, you're just a potential sugar daddy waiting for his turn... And the line for her attention may be long. There is nothing to do but be patient, and be ready for the moment that you do get your chance.

I used to get myself all bent out of shape after messaging a girl. I’d anxiously check back every few minutes to see if I had a response. Often I’d follow up within a day, with a desperation-laced note trying to draw a reply out of her. This was a huge mistake.

It was only after having in-depth conversations with a few sugar babies that I realized it wasn’t unusual to receive responses days (and sometimes even a week or more) after reaching out. Life can easily get in the way of checking your Secret Benefits inbox. It's even possible that her notification (that she had a new message) ended up in her spam folder. There’s an infinite number of reasons why she may have taken a while, none of which point to a lack of interest on her part.

Sure, there are plenty of girls that simply never respond. Maybe they already found an arrangement. Perhaps they're not quite ready to take the plunge, and are only browsing the possibilities.  Perhaps you just aren't their type. Whatever the reason, it shouldn't cause you any anxiety. You've got to roll with it.  

It's best to simply move on to the next prospect - How soon?  Immediately after sending your message.  Never rest your hopes on one girl. Instead, play the numbers game by communicating with a handful at a time. The old adage about there being "plenty of fish in the sea" is true - so why not bait as many hooks as you can, and get those lines in the water!  You do that, and you won't even notice the ones that aren't responding - you'll be too busy fielding the responses from the girls who are immediately interested.  

If you keep this up, whenever a girl does send you a message, it will come as a nice surprise, instead of something that you were anxiously awaiting.  Rather than frustrated, you will instead be flattered, and will, therefore, start your conversation on a positive note - the best way to make sure it actually goes somewhere.

Cheers,
Herb