Because there is no rulebook for sugaring, you might be wondering whether you’re making any sugar daddy mistakes. The good news is, you don’t have to find out if you’re doing things right through trial and error alone! In this article, we’re going to share some common misunderstandings and missteps that we see in the Bowl and how you can avoid them for healthier, safer, and more satisfying relationships.
Let’s talk about 10 common mistakes sugar daddies make and how to prevent them!
Mistake #1: Not creating an accurate budget
Budgeting is not the most appealing part of being a sugar daddy, but it is necessary if you want a satisfying relationship long-term. You want to be as detailed as possible about how much you’re able and willing to spend on a partner, from allowances to dates to special vacations and more. Here are a few considerations that you’ll want to include in your budgeting process:
- The average expenditure for sugaring in your area. In other words, how much are sugar daddies typically spending on their partners in your city?
- What specific elements would you like to include in a sugar relationship? Things like exclusivity, travel, emotional support, and intimacy can all impact how much you’ll be expected to spend.
- Any foreseeable changes in your budget over the next few months. Are you going to have any big expenditures coming up that will affect your sugar baby budget?
This stage of the process is tedious, but it will help you to move through the negotiation phase much faster so that you can start enjoying the fun parts of sugaring!
Mistake #2: Sticking with the free or lowest-paid plan on sugaring platforms
Payment plans on sugaring sites are beneficial for a number of reasons. For one thing, they weed out bots and salt daddies who make the entire community less trusting.
And, the paid subscriptions are good for you as a sugar daddy, in that they grant you access to special features that make finding a partner easier. Sugar babies on these platforms respond positively to potential partners who they know are serious about finding a good match! The first way that you can prove that you have the resources to care for a sugar baby is through a paid subscription.
Mistake #3: Being lazy with your profile
Unfortunately, finding the right sugar baby online isn’t a problem that you can simply throw money at! And so, even after paying for a higher tier on your sugaring platform, you’ll still want to make sure that you put thought and time into your profile. Here are some basic elements that you’ll want to include:
- A high-quality, genuine photo. This isn’t about taking the sexiest selfie or showing off your wealth. Instead, focus on taking a photo that will ensure that you look like a real, approachable person.
- A well-written, thoughtful bio. One of the most common sugar daddy mistakes when writing a bio is focusing too much on the kind of sugar relationship you don’t want. And that can be off-putting to potential partners. So, keep the tone positive and enthusiastic.
- Relevant keywords. This will help a sugar baby learn more about what kind of partner you’re looking for, so use phrases such as “long-term” or “short-term,” “in-person” or “virtual,” etc.
- An editing phase. If your profile is difficult to read because of grammatical errors or shows up as a single block of text, a potential partner might keep scrolling. So, take the time to go over what you’ve written, fix mistakes, and cut out anything that isn’t important.
Mistake #4: Waiting for sugar babies to come to you
True, on most sugaring websites, there are more sugar babies than sugar daddies. And that will mean that your DMs will be more active than on traditional dating apps. But that doesn’t mean that you should wait around for the right sugar baby to come your way! Instead, take the time to look through profiles and reach out to anyone who interests you.
This is true if you’re looking to meet sugar babies out in the wild, too! Instead of worrying about rejection, don’t be afraid to make a connection–respectfully, of course! You never know who would be open to becoming a sugar baby.
Mistake #5: Rushing through the getting-to-know-you phase
Many sugar daddies are tired of “the chase” of traditional dating and are ready for something easy and straightforward. And so, part of the appeal of sugaring is that things tend to happen more quickly: you’ll exchange a few messages online, set up a meet & greet, and talk early on about expectations and goals.
But just because sugaring is naturally more accelerated than traditional dating doesn’t mean that you should rush through the early courtship phase! Instead, consider this to be an important process of building trust, testing compatibility, and proving yourself to be a reliable sugar daddy. In short, it will lay the foundation for a stronger and more satisfying sugar relationship.
Here are a few questions you can use to get the ball rolling with a potential partner:
- “The background of your profile picture is beautiful. Where did you take it?”
- “I noticed a dog in one of your profile pictures, are you more of a dog person or a cat person?”
- “If you could describe the perfect first date, what would that look like?”
- “What’s your favorite flower?”
- “What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?”
As you can see, these are neutral, unique questions that will allow you to start getting to know each other. They also don’t ask for anything that would require them to reveal too many personal details. You can, of course, come up with your own questions as long as you don’t skip over this important phase!
Mistake #6: Agreeing to terms that aren’t right for you
Sugaring is about negotiation, but that doesn’t mean that you should ever agree to terms that you’re not comfortable with. After all, saying yes to something just so that the sugar baby of your dreams doesn’t walk away will only lead to disappointment and resentment later on.
If you’re struggling to come to an agreement with a potential partner, consider using the following statements to try to find common ground:
- “I am very interested in seeing where this goes, but I have to admit that I’m not fully on board with your request for _____. Is there any way that you would be flexible on that?”
- “The last thing I want to do is say yes to something that I can’t follow through on. So, I’m going to have to say no to ______. But, if you’re open, I would be able to offer ______ instead.”
- “We seem to get along well and I’d like to pursue a relationship with you! But I think we’ll have to talk more about finding common ground, specifically in regards to ______.”
You might feel nervous about rejecting a sugar baby’s requests, but the fact is that they will respect and appreciate your honesty. In fact, they may value your openness so much that they decide to be flexible on their terms because they trust you!
Mistake #7: Ignoring the red flags of a dating scam
We don’t want to give the impression that anyone who falls for a dating scam has done something wrong! Indeed, many online scams are subtle and hard to anticipate. That’s why it’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with some common red flags that can prevent you from falling into one, such as:
- Robotic or odd language patterns.
- Manipulation through time sensitivity.
- Requests for your personal information or login details.
- Requests for money advances.
- Emotional manipulation and pressuring.
- Constant denial or delaying of meeting in person or having a video call.
These are all signs that someone may be trying to get at your money without any desire to have a real sugar relationship with you. If you notice these patterns, report this person to the sugar dating platform and stop all communication with them.
Mistake #8: Taking on too many sugar babies
Having multiple partners is something that can bring a lot of sugar daddies satisfaction. On the one hand, it can help you avoid getting emotionally attached to any one particular sugar baby. And, it can also mean that you have different partners to fulfill different needs, such as a travel partner, a listening ear, or someone to attend events with you.
That being said, taking on more sugar babies than you can cover with your current budget is a major mistake! You certainly don’t want to be in a situation in which you fall behind on allowances or other expenses in your life because you agreed to more relationships than you can manage. So, be very careful about entering into new partnerships unless you’re very comfortable with your financial situation.
Mistake #9: Getting too comfortable in a sugar relationship
Another appealing aspect of sugaring is that it’s a style of dating that tends to stay exciting, fresh, and new, even if you’ve been with the same partner for a while. But you’ll want to avoid one of the common sugar dating mistakes of allowing yourself to get too comfortable.
Sure, the more time you spend with your sugar baby, the more at ease you’ll feel which is a good thing. You might even find it easier to open up and be vulnerable. But, getting too comfortable can lead to:
- A predictable routine. You might find yourself taking your sugar baby to the same restaurants, ordering the same appetizers, and sharing the same desserts.
- Uninteresting conversations. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone, there’s still more that you can learn about them. But this isn’t the case if you’re too comfortable to keep asking questions.
- Difficulty asking for changes in the relationship. A relationship that has become set in its ways is hard to change. You might feel uncomfortable asking for something new because you’re worried that it will offend your sugar baby. And your sugar baby may hesitate to ask for anything new because they’re afraid to rock the boat.
Luckily, there are ways to keep a sugar relationship fiery long-term. You can plan a romantic weekend getaway or surprise your sugar baby with an unexpected gift. Even showing up to your dates with a list of new conversation questions can be enough to keep things interesting and new!
#10: Avoiding uncomfortable conversations with your sugar baby
Finally, the last pitfall on our list of common sugar daddy mistakes is shying away from uncomfortable conversations. Maybe your finances have changed and you have to adjust your monthly allowance. Or, perhaps you want your sugar baby to stop sending you messages at a certain time of day when you’re too busy to reply. No matter what the issue is, avoiding it is not the answer! Here are a few ways that you can ensure that uncomfortable conversations don’t negatively affect your relationship with your sugar baby:
- Start by acknowledging how much you value your sugar baby.
- Clearly and respectfully state what issue you’re facing.
- Offer reasonable alternatives.
- Listen and accept your sugar partner’s reaction.
- Find a middle ground.
- Take breaks if things get emotionally charged.
Difficult conversations are not the most fun part of a sugar relationship, but they are necessary from time to time! So, if you value your partner and want to reach a state of peace, you’ve got to get comfortable with talking through issues!
Have you made any of these sugar daddy mistakes?
You’re not alone! These are some of the most common pitfalls that sugar daddies make, regardless of how much experience they have in the Bowl! By learning to recognize them and take a different approach, you’ll be on your way to more satisfying sugar relationships in the future!
